Over 5 years ago I got my first tattoo. I fell in love with the Hillsong United song titled Take Heart because of the reminder it created to focus my heart and mind on God and not the things of the world. So naturally, I got a tattoo that reads “take heart” on my forearm.
I think back when I got the tattoo and how simple life was compared to now. My perspective on life was dramatically different. I thought of myself in a completely different way and marriage looked way different than it does now. Life seemed safe and protected.
It’s interesting to think about what it was like just 5+ years ago and my reasoning behind my tattoo. I knew the importance of focusing my mind on God and to look at life through the lens of Him rather than through the situation I may have been facing. I honestly don’t remember what I was “facing” to have learned that lesson but I believe God nudged me because He knew the magnitude of it later on in my life.
When I found out about my miscarriage I had a ton of anxiety. I couldn’t sleep and I would wake up in the middle of the night with my mind uncontrollably racing. I would lay in bed for hours telling myself “go to sleep, go to sleep”. No luck. I remember one particular night laying in bed with my heart racing and thoughts going wild. I couldn’t control anything. Among the clutter of dark thoughts I started thinking about when I use to crochet. It was years ago which meant I probably didn’t have the tools for it. I laid there for a while visually trying to figure out where a needle and yarn would be in our house. I eventually popped out of bed and scrummaged in the dark to find them. With everything in hand I plopped back in bed with a night light and started crocheting. I crocheted that night for 3-4 hours until I fell asleep.
The complete calmness my mind was brought was nothing I could have done on my own. The fact that I fell sound asleep was nothing I could have done on my own. What happened that night with a simple activity of crocheting was only Gods doing. The idea that was put into my head while my mind was racing through so many dark thoughts was not something I could have done on my own.
The next morning I woke up and very loudly heard God say “I see you”.
Take Heart means so many thing to me at this point of life. It means that God sees me even though I may feel very small and unseen. It means that God is way bigger than this world. It means that God can and will see me through difficult seasons. It means that the current situations of my life has more meaning and life than what I can currently see. It means that God will never grow weary and tired even though I am weary and tired.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33